Thursday, July 14, 2005

10 Years Ago

The other day I started scrapbooking my pictures from convention. I started with the pictures from the longevity luncheon. For some reason, I thought they would be the easiest, but now I'm stuck. I like the layout. I like the pictures. It's all sitting on my stamp table ready to be glued. So what's holding me back?

The Journaling.

I preach journaling. To me journaling is THE number one important thing in your scrapbook. So many times we get caught up in the embelishments and the design and we forget to tell the story. My family is probably tired of me saying.... "You have to tell the story." "Take pictures that tell the story." But think about it... no story and you might as well be sitting in someone's basement watching a slide show from their vacation. BORING.

What was special about that day? What did you learn? How did you feel? When my son grows up and looks at his book will he remember dressing up like Barney? Not likely, since he doesn't really believe it now...even though I have the visual proof. Will looking at that picture really mean anything to him. He looks adorable and the smile is priceless. But isn't it better if I include journaling about how he wore it around the house for days and was enchanted with wagging his tail? One shows what he looked like in the costume. The other tells more about who he was. Together they tell a story.

So I have pictures from the luncheon. Pictures of three of us that earned our 10 year charm; two of us that earned our five year. I can write down the names. I can specify who earned what. But does that tell the story? Does that even begin to tell how much my life has been influenced by the 10 years that I have been a consultant? So now we get to the crux of the problem. I am stumped. I have writer's block. I don't know what to say about these last 10 years. I don't know how to put into words the experiences I have had.

I remember when I first started out. I remember how much I admired the talent of the other consultants. I kind of felt like a little kid that got to hang out with the adults. I remember the first scrapbook convention I went to. If I'm not mistaken, it might've been the first scrapbook convention...ever..... I got to hang out with the people I idolized in the company. They talked to me. They laughed with me. Me, I was this little small time consultant. They were directors with huge sales and huge teams.

I remember my first convention. It was the first time I went on a vacation by myself. I roomed with people I didn't know. I loved extravaganza and all the booths and all the techniques. I was amazed by the teachers. I felt a burning desire to teach there myself.

I remember the next convention and my first time teaching. Worrying over the boards that were in my suitcase. Would they arrive in SLC with me? Why did I put a six pack of soda in the same suitcase? What if it exploded all over my work? I remember meeting Carol. She loved my booth. She asked me a ton of questions. I was thrilled that my art inspired others. Now I call Carol my groupie. Every year she finds my booth. It wouldn't be the same without her.

I have changed so much over the years. I am much more confident - and talented. Somewhere along the line I switched roles. Inside I am still the girl that is amazed when people remember who she is. I am shocked that my artwork and my teaching inspires others. I am surprised when people at corporate know who I am. I'm just little ole me. Why would anyone remember who I am.

Every year that I submit my application to teach, I am sure I won't be chosen. How could my artwork be good enough? How strange is that when I have had nothing but success every time I have submitted my artwork. Once I submitted an article and box of artwork. It was published. I have been chosen to teach every time I've submitted. This year two pieces of my artwork were sent to corporate (by someone else). Both pieces were featured on the artwall at convention. Why is that so shocking to me?

Even though I have learned and grown so much over the last ten years, I am coming to realize that I could do even more.... if I had a little bit of faith in myself.....

So maybe I'm not so different from that girl I knew.....10 years ago......
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