Monday, March 21, 2005

Missing Pens

This morning I came into work and right away the phone started ringing. I reached for my favorite pen and IT WAS GONE. I had to grab a mechanical pencil in order to take the message. Monday morning craziness kept me from investigating the missing pen for quite some time. Later I was working out on the counter outside my office. I reached for my pen and again IT WAS GONE. Two missing pens was a tragedy that could not be ignored... and so I began my investigation. (Of course in reality, I had already tried and convicted the culprit in my head.)

In an effort to perform an honest investigation I collected evidence and interviewed other possible suspects.

#1 - When I went to the cupboard to get two new pens...gasp.... there were only 2 left!!! My pens were not the only ones missing. We now have somewhere in the neighborhood of 7-10 pens missing. This is turning into a major crime.

#2 - Debbie was cleared of all possible connection to the crime and she suspected the same person as I

#3 - As Debbie and I discussed the crime (through laughs), boss #3 heard and started showing me all his pens. He was absolved as well.... Now I think he knows he's missing out on some good pens.

#4 - I jokingly interviewed boss #1. When he CONFESSED!!! That'll teach me. He did not take the ones from my desk, but he did take 3 from the cupboard. Since he followed office protocol...he is not being charged with a crime...

Which leaves Boss #2. The ONE we knew pulled the scam.

Several things implicated him...

#1 - He's the only one that would take things right off my desk.

#2 - One pen escaped kidnapping by jumping onto my office floor, below the cupboard. No way boss #2 would pick it up. He's the type that leaves cupboards open after he's retrieved what he wants...

So prepared with evidence, I interviewed boss #2 and he said....

"Well Debbie has like three or four in her desk!"

Yea, shift the blame. That works.... Hrmph.....

I'll be ordering more pens now that they are the new office favorite. If only they came in purple. I know none of them would dare take and write with a purple pen. Then it would be mine....all mine.....

And now you know why I never...never....never.... use a pen until it runs out of ink. I don't get the chance. My pens appear to be common office property.

Ok, back to boring tax returns.
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