I have always loved school. I look forward to the beginning of a new school year whether or not I'm going to school. It's a time of new beginnings. It's time to add structure back into our lives. It's time to say goodbye to the hot days of summer and welcome the cooler autumn nights.
But not this year. This year I was depressed. I did not want school to start. I was in a funk all night on Sunday. I didn't want to go back to getting up at 5:30 in the morning to take Joshua to seminary. I didn't want to go to bed early so I could get enough sleep. I didn't want to go back to asking the dreaded question "Did you do your homework yet."
Sadly I didn't have any control over the passing of time and Monday morning came anyway. Surprisingly it didn't hurt so bad to get up when the alarm went off. I actually enjoyed getting back to my early morning walks while Josh was in seminary. I had fun visiting with Kathy as we walked around the parking lot. The whole day went smoothly. My boss even sent me home an hour early.
So why was it so dreadful in my head and so easy in real life? I think I was just feeling overwhelmed. Rick had his surgery last week so I was doing everything. And everything felt very overwhelming, without adding back in all the school stuff. I enjoyed summer. I enjoyed the routine I had created. I liked going to salsa class on Monday nights, aqua aerobics on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I liked sleeping in until 7am. When I looked at school starting, all I could think of was all the things that I could no longer do. I think I was feeling a little bit selfish and stubborn. But it looks like I'm "over myself" now. I'm enjoying what we have today and looking forward to the new experiences that this school year will bring.