Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Another Blog, Another Life

I think I started blogging about 4 1/2 years ago. It was a hard time in my life. I was angry and I was hurt and I needed a place where I could vent. I was afraid to keep a written journal. I was afraid that something would happen to me and those who love me would find those angry words and think that was all there was. And so I guess I was searching for a place to vent. I wanted to be heard and yet I didn't.

I created a place for myself, a place where I was anonymous, and it was safe, and I could scream and yell and cry and heal.

I didn't realize that I would end up connecting with other bloggers and how much their comments and their blogs would impact me. I laughed with them. I cried with them. I disagreed with them and somehow my world became a little bigger.

As I began to heal and to leave behind the hurt child that was inside me, I started to notice that my old diary didn't fit anymore. I wasn't the only one. My diary friends all went through some changes. Some stopped writing. Some moved their blogs. Some wrote less often. There were some that I simply drifted away from and some that I missed terribly.

Today I reconnected with a favorite of mine. As I read her words again I was reminded of all the great entries I've read in the past. It was as if no time passed. I recognized the main characters. I recognized the style. And I laughed when I realized how close she had been all the time. I should have known that she would've been reading and loving the writing style of one of my favorite bloggers.

Thank you my friend!! Reconnecting with you gave me pause to reflect on all that has happened in the last few years; and in some strange way, it has kind of opened up the writer inside of me. I have struggled to make blogger my home. I write here and I share what's going on, but it's not the kind of writing I did in the past. I guess it lacks the pain. But today... today I feel like writing.
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