Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Feeling Crummy

It's an ugly ugly day here in Southern California. The cooler weather is a welcome relief from the scorching we endured over the weekend, but today takes "June Gloom" to an all new level. June Gloom usually means morning clouds out here in the east county, but today the sun never poked through the clouds and we actually got rain. Amazing. It was a short little burst, but it rained in June in San Diego.

I had a good cry this morning and now my eyes feel puffy and all I want to do is go to bed. On top of that, I'm kind of mad for even getting upset. I should know better, but every once in a while it's kind of hard being my mother's daughter. She forgot my son's birthday. Yep. No phone call. Nothing. Last year none of us got presents, but Josh and I at least got phone calls. I guess his milestone 16th birthday wasn't all that big of a deal to his grandma.

I guess it was just the icing on the cake for me. We've been struggling through some tough times around here. Times when I wish I had a mom that I could call. I have to be the strong one and hold up for everyone else, but there are times when I just need someone to call so that I can cry and get it all out. I have a ton of wonderful friends that I love and adore... but sometimes you just want a mom. I've pretty much accepted her limitations and I know that I will never rate as high in her book as my brother. For the most part, I have made peace with it and I no longer get myself worked up over it...but I still hurt for my son. And heck, she used to at least make the pretense of calling. And we've actually been getting along fairly well. We've had a couple of fun conversations...oh well.... I need to let it go....

Things appear to be going well for hubby. Still too early to celebrate, but he has made it through day 2 of orientation and things look good so far.

Hey he had rain today too, but his rain has been accompanied by an amazing lightning show too. Show off. He just had to one up us.... Men!
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